下面是一篇曾经发在两个国外网站上的寓言故事旧文，在这里故事新编。那时候喜欢感兴寓言故事，如《石头汤》、《驯旦记》这类的。作为随性的人，因为慕尼黑安全会议上王毅对美国代表的指责而想到写首这个。
故事最早是英文写的，每次都懒得查找底稿原文，加上记忆是个无价的东西，不用白不用，于是每次都是根据记忆重写一遍。
诗之。
撒旦浑行瘴气场，谁驱此辈镇猖狂？
红尘天上纷纷噤，黄口家中诺诺张。
一布酒席推定霸，羁押犷戾帝尊王。
承平苑囿农桑好，六圣勤民社稷长。
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《驯旦记》
很久以前有个寓言故事，讲的是撒旦吃相难看，抢大贪小肆意无赖，害得世间万般无奈，大家都不爽撒旦。
天下苦撒旦久矣，上帝觉得这样下去也不是个办法。于是，他决定让撒旦表演个够，也算给他最后一个机会，看看撒旦能不能最后收敛反省。
上帝准备了天下最好最多的美酒美食，用一张长长长长的铺着洁白餐桌布的餐桌放满鲜花和丰盛美味宴请撒旦。
撒旦想，我是无赖我怕个毬，去！不吃白不吃。于是吊着脸赤着脚哐地一声踢开上帝的门就进来大吃大喝起来。
一身洁白长发飘逸的上帝礼貌地说：“欢迎啊，宾至如归，请慢慢享受，在这里不用急，”，
“滚开，关你屁事！”上帝话还没说完撒旦就吐掉一口肉怼了上帝一句。
“那好，您请便吧，酒肉管够，觉得喜欢添加什么说一声就行。”，
“还说个屁呀，加你闭嘴就行！”
撒旦又肆无忌惮地吐了口酒。
于是，撒旦就这么边吃喝边打嗝放屁加谩骂地吃了个昏天黑地，上帝礼貌地在餐桌另一头坐陪，闭嘴不言。
上帝家的美食美酒太丰富了，鲜花太典雅清香了，座椅餐桌太精致讲究和舒服了。撒旦吃到敞胸露肚四仰八叉连裤子都不提了。他把一只肥硕的脚丫支在旁边洁白的椅子上继续嗤牙咧嘴声音很大地大吃二喝大声咕噜。
这时候，“噗咭！” 一声，撒旦大小便失禁了。
上帝缓缓收敛起微笑，锐利的目光注视着撒旦有些惶恐的眼睛。他慢慢地抬起手，食指指向撒旦的脑门。
“你，你，......."
上帝严厉的目光让已经濒临崩溃的撒旦愈发惶恐不安，他已经分辨不清上帝是在发笑还是发怒指责自己什么，因为便溺横流而根本站不起来。
但他侧眼看到随着上帝手指偏向身边，身边出现一个深深的地洞。
后面的事情他只记得上帝似乎走了过来抬起脚，然后觉得“嗡”地一声，...... 。
再醒过来就是撒旦被关押在昏天黑地的地狱里了。那场优雅的盛宴成为他最美好的记忆...
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英文版
（由于上帝一词同时具有宗教属性，为了避免误伤宗教，英文里面用村长、酋长village chief代替上帝，用村霸village bully代替撒旦）：
Once upon a time, there was a village bully who was ugly and behaved in a greedy, selfish and shameless manner. The whole village both hated and feared him.
The village chief thought that everyone being resentful and helpless all the time wasn't a solution, so he decided to let the village bully have his fill, and see if he could eventually restrain himself and reflect on his actions. He prepared the best and most abundant food and wine in the world, and decorated a long, long, long, long, white table with flowers, inviting the village bully to feast.
The bully thought to himself, "I'm a rogue, what do I have to fear? Let's go! I won't waste this good opportunity." With a scowl on his face and bare feet, he kicked open the village chief's door and began to gorge himself.
The village chief, with long, flowing white hair, politely said, "Welcome! We extend to you the most cordial invitation to join us at the banquet. Please enjoy yourself. There's no need to hurry here."
"Shut the fuck up! I'll eat whenever the fuck I want". the village bully interrupted, spitting out a mouthful of meat.
"Okay, please help yourself. If you feel like adding anything, just let us know," the village chief responded politely.
"Say what? Shut up!" The bully carelessly belched out a mouthful of wine.
So, while the bully ate and drank, burped and farted, and cursed vulgarities, the village chief politely sat at the other end of the table, quiet and reserved.
The village chief's food and wine were too abundant, the flowers too elegant and fragrant, and the chairs, tables and cutlery were too refined and comfortable. By the time it was dark, the bully had eaten so much that he was lying back with his belly exposed, legs splayed open, not even bothering to pull up his pants. He continued to make loud smacking noises while he ate and drank.
At some point, there was a loud "splat," and the village bully lost control of his bodily functions. He ate so much that he was incontinent.
The village chief slowly put away his smile, his sharp eyes focused on the panicked eyes of the devil. He slowly lifted his hand, his index finger pointing at the bully's forehead.
"You, you...."
The village chief's stern gaze made the almost collapsing bully even more fearful and uneasy. He could no longer discern what the village chief was blaming him for, because he was unable to stand up due to his incontinence.
The bully glanced to the side and saw a deep crack in the ground appear as God's finger pointed towards him.
The next thing he remembered was the village chief walking over, lifting his foot, and then there was a "buzz" sound.
When he woke up, the bully found himself trapped in a dark and gloomy hell. The memory of the white table, elegant flowers and delicious food was still fresh in his mind......
改写成英文叙事诗：
Once there was a bully vile and cruel,
Ugly and malicious, he had no rule.
He stole from the rich, exploited the poor,
All in the village feared him to the core.
The chief of the village knew it wasn't right,
To let the bully continue his fight.
So, he prepared a feast, abundant and fine,
With flowers and wine, on a long white line.
The bully came with a rude attitude,
Ready to indulge in a selfish plenitude.
He ate and drank, belched and cursed,
With his bare feet and manners the worst.
The chief waited patiently at the table's end,
No anger or contempt did he intend.
He offered more food, without a word,
Ignoring the bully's insults that he heard.
The bully ate and drank until he was full,
His body bloated, his manners dull.
Suddenly, a sound of "plop!" he made,
His bladder and bowels lost in the raid.
The chief's smile disappeared, his eyes grew sharp,
As the bully's facade began to warp.
He pointed his finger at the bully's head,
And in his stern voice, the devil was led.
The bully trembled, as the ground shook,
And the chief's finger a deep crack took.
He lifted his foot, and the devil was stunned,
And then, he found himself in hell, his freedom shunned.
The bully learned his lesson in a harsh way,
That his actions had consequences, he had to pay.
The chief's patience and kindness saved the day,
Teaching a bully that in ones life, there is always a fit way.
